Body Language: How To Tell If Someone Is Lying
Body Language Of Deception
We are always very curious to know if someone is lying to us or telling the truth. The probability of detecting a lie is 50 / 50. It is a chance of a coin toss. There is no Pinokio effect. If we are concentrating only on detecting deception, we might miss a lot of good information.
There are many behaviors associated with deception like touching your nose, covering your mouth, or closing your eyes; but none of these are singularly indicative of deception. These can also be a sign of anxiety or stress. How, then, we can tell if someone is lying? Instead of focusing on the lying itself, we better focus on the stress.
We may ask general questions and mentally make a note of when the individual feels insecure or tense and then come back to those issues and discuss them again. If someone is hiding information, they are usually bothered by having to process it and then to come up with an answer. They might swallow, touch their neck, scratch themselves, or change their voice to higher pitch in order to pacify themselves.
People in general never reveal everything 100 percent. How many times have you told everything to your parents? Hopefully you didn’t. You don’t want your mother to know everything you have done. How many times have you said “tell them I am not home”. Lying is a tool of social survival. We don’t really tell people how we feel or how they look or how they are dressed.
Because lying is part of how we do things to get along, we become very good at that. Those that are the most dangerous to us, like sociopaths and psychopaths, are experts in telling lies. They usually engage in more eye contact, not less.
The conclusion is that we must spend time becoming experts in deciphering non verbal communication. Especially important is to recognize comfort and discomfort cues. Once we learn how to do this, we don’t have to worry how to tell if someone is lying. Just know if this person is comfortable or uncomfortable with the topic you are discussing. If there is any sign of discomfort, that’s something for us to pursue further.
Learning the body language of non verbals will lead to new discoveries on human nature and will allow improving relationships with our peers.